Final Project: Messing with Texas

Welcome to the Austin Center for Dance and Hand to Hand Combat. If you follow our strict regimen of exercise and stretching you will be able to defend yourselves against attack from any kind of criminals, kooks, aggressive car salesmen, insurgents, investigative reporters, angry spouses, or any other perils you may encounter in everyday life.


First, you must select some suitable attire. Nothing too constricting, please. You must have full use of your limbs at all times.


"--Sir, I need to go to the bathroom..."

"You! In the black pants! Get out of here--I will not tolerate your insolence!"


We'll start you off with some basic Salsajitsu techniques. We brought in some lifelike male dummies for you to practice with. Don't be shy, you can't hurt them.


From there we shall move on to advanced belly-dance kwon doe, a secret and ancient form of self defense practiced for over 4,000 years.


Meanwhile....

"Alright men, this is what you've been training all year for. The siege of the Austin Center for Dance and Hand to Hand Combat begins in an hour. Let's focus, people...this ain't gonna be no cakewalk!"


Back at the studio--

"Once you become as good as me, you will be able to move so quickly you will be nothing but a blur."


"That's it, you're catching on! Nice leg work, Sally..."


It is also important that we be able to communicate with each other in the field. This is the basis for the most impenetrable code ever devised. Read it and memorize it, because the board will self-destruct in exactly 1 minute.
"--Wait. What is that I hear in the distance?"




"Right, left, right left..."



"Quietly now, men. We're getting close. Everyone stay on full alert>"



"Here they come. Quick, ladies, rond de jambe, chagement, glissade, pas de bouree, arabesque....ATTACK!!"